To Pastors, Ministers and Spiritual Leaders – An Open Letter to You

 

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Dear fellow servants in Christ!


Thank you for having found this page and may it richly bless you!

I am Rev. Geli Heimann, and if you allow me, I would like to share here from my heart to you. I have served in the ministry for 37 years in all sorts of capacities, and it is my desire to bring hope, healing and joy to you or anyone you know .


From Hong Kong to the UK and beyond ...

Starting in Hong Kong where I pioneered and pastored a small multicultural church, I came across the first indication of my calling to inspire and help, especially those in the ministry, from the relationships angle.

The beautiful pastors couple who took charge over my church when I left Hong Kong, were not able to withstand the pressures and challenges they faced. I was deeply saddened when I received a phone call from the husband that his wife had left him for a wealthy Chinese business man.

In London, I became very involved in various churches, both as visiting minister, as well as in-house staff minister of a then very large church. I also served for decades as Bible school / college teacher and tutor, from foundational Bible teaching to the more esoteric deeper teachings on Biblical Eschatology and prophetic end time understanding. With an apostolic and prophetic mantle, a mother in the Body of Christ, minister and friend to ministers, and those left without fathers and mothers to lead the way, I have the privilege to serve especially those in spiritual leadership, those in positions of authority, and anyone with influence.

Over the years that followed, I was often called upon to work with pastors in a very confidential capacity - in aspects of their private lives where there was no way they could talk to or trust just anyone with. As anyone of you knows, the leadership position can be a very lonely and isolated one in the midst of all the many people who daily make demands on you.

For a season I also worked and facilitated in a domestic violence unit, set up to be a source of help in Christian circles. Again, I gained deep insights as to what goes on behind the scenes in the loneliness of leadership and the traumas they struggle with on a day-to-day basis whilst doing their utmost best to serve the people of God.


The naked truth

The pressures and expectations on those of you in ministry leadership is phenomenally high. Often put on a pedestal to be a role model of faith, spirituality and sexual modesty, leaves many of you struggling.

The unseen amount of hours of work you pack in, to be at the beck and call of congregation members and staff members is high. Forever, it seems, you have to run to be a firefighter, sorting out disputes, financial crises, dealing with the heart-broken, the sick, etc.

Nobody really understands what you are going through, whether as a pastor or pastor’s spouse. The overload, stress and burnout one tries to hide, all along trusting God for own healing and financial miracles. You are there for everyone else and often wonder if God has forgotten all about you. Yes, you put in the hours of prayer and fasting, yes, you are faithfully studying His Word, and yet at times it seems all so overwhelming.

The amount of precious people daily leaving the ministry is staggering. Burnout is rampant.

Pastors are twice as likely to cheat on their wives as non-Christian husbands.

During a minister leaders weekend conference in the US, held in a hotel, 83% of the delegates registered for porn channels during the night, whilst during the day they stood proclaiming holiness and purity.


What is happening?

It is all too easy to palm off what is happening solely on the devil or demonic activities. I have heard this cop-out over and over. So people fast and pray more. Bind the devil, cast out the devil, and, and and ... (I am NOT saying that all this isn't important! But we need to do more than that and take responsibility for our own stuff, our own habits and communication skills).

The Bible clearly says that God’s people perish for lack of knowledge. Precious people hide behind spirituality, and just hope that with lots of prayer efforts, God's sovereign omnipotence would somehow sort out their problems, rather than taking the hard road and work through their issues and wounds. It takes learning new skills and diligently applying them. It takes wisdom and the leading of the Holy Spirit. It takes practical aspects as well, and more often than not, it also takes a Spirit-led professional to work alongside to work hand-in-hand.

This is why God led me to return to university to study two degrees in psychology, after many years of ministry where I was happy just counselling people and stand in the pulpit preaching and also teaching in various Bible colleges.

Frankly, I preferred teaching on the ‘types and shadows’ of the Tabernacle of David and Solomon, the End Time Bride of Christ, the various books of the Bible, and also advanced church leadership courses. But God had another plan for me. His heart was bleeding for His people lacking knowledge in intimate relationship truths.

Ignorance is not bliss,

especially when it comes to sexuality. People think it comes naturally - everyone knows what to do .... People learn what they hear other people repeating from other people. Religious traditions, ignorance, church cultures with political agendas to rule, control, manipulate, fear of demonic activities, demonizing the 'world', the 'flesh' and so-called 'carnal pleasures' damage those vulnerable to want to desperately please God, leaving precious people bleeding and wounded with virtually no one to help.

It’s like the blind leading the blind, invariably without them realizing that they are blind. Who can they trust when they stumble and fall? Too many times have I seen even respected and well-known ministers stabbing each other in the back!


It was only after I became a psychologist that I realised the wisdom of God in this. People who could not trust other ministers know that I am bound professionally by the 100% confidentiality ethics outlined by governing psychological bodies, or else I will be struck off and get into trouble with the BPS (British Psychological Society). I am also a member of the British Association of Christians in Psychology.

My own background

started with parents who loved each other, but who did not know how to share and express that love. They were lonely, unhappy but faithful till death parted them. I never saw them kiss, cuddle, embrace, or do anything affectionate.

Over the years I amassed shelves full of books on relationships and sexual health, and learnt from every source possible to gain greater understanding.

Much of my learning came from firsthand experience of a high risk life, often having lived at the edge close to total disaster. My life is peppered with many relationships, a 17 year-long monogamous and faithful marriage, and the privilege of drawing on the knowledge, wisdom and life experiences of excellent mentors. As they say, if you live long enough, you have an opportunity for experience and growing.

Apart from my university degrees in psychology, I also followed the call into ministry and became a licensed and ordained minister. Over many years in pastoral counselling and giving clients consultations, my heartbeat has been and is to enrich and empower couples and individuals, especially in the nitty-gritty of intimate relationships including the bedroom.


I very much experienced the 'hard knocks of suffering' myself.

Because I have been there, because I experienced the devastating pain of sexual abuse, rape and death threats (prior to my marriage), neglect and seeming emptiness, divorce, feeling I had nothing more to give, and life was not worth living anymore, I am able to have the level of compassion and deep understanding that no textbook can provide. Touched by the needs of those in front of me, it has become my unspeakable joy to help them become their own very best whilst extending empathy with unconditional regard.

When it comes to sexual preferences and deviations, in my role as a psychosexual educator and intimacy coach, I can truthfully say, “I’ve just about heard it all, nothing shocks me anymore”.

I sat down and listened to the life stories of prostitutes, dominatrixes, folk involved in the fetish world, sex addicts, etc. When I hear about extremely high percentages of those in religious leadership being addicted to porn, abusive marriages, secret visits to prostitutes, and so forth, I do not condemn or judge, but instead I hear the desperate heart cry for help, the silent suffering, or raging bitter disappointment because of unmet needs, lost dreams and hope.

I am here to help you on your journey of intimacy. I desire to serve you with unconditional regard, no shaming or blaming. Come as you are. Together we will find a way forward!

Feel free to contact me at any time. I will handle your concerns with sensitivity and respect and prayerfulness.

My angle is not traditional psychology, but the latest cutting edge scientific research together with age-old truths and knowledge, surrendered to the leading of the Holy Spirit.

This site, although not overtly Christian or religious, on purpose, is designed to serve as inspiration for you to see what is available for you to create and excel in your relationship with enduring love and a passionately fulfilling sex life.




If you are ready to allow yourself to heal,
soar and thrive at your personal best,
if you are ready to create a meaningful intimate love relationship
that is full of joy, fun and laughter,
then click on the puzzle-heart image now!




 

 







 
 


 
 

Rev. Geli Heimann BSc. MSc Psych.



 




 



 



 




 


Member of the British Association of Christians in Psychology



 



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