We so often hope and pray that things will change, and faith is monumentally important! However, many times we overlook that it is in our own power to change our relationships and/or our circumstances by changing the one person we can change: ourselves!

To have a successful intimate relationship with your loved one or yourself, you want to consider achieving some of these goals this year:

• Really get to know your loved one from their perspective and your own (yes, that means stepping out of your own map of reality into theirs and explore their inner territory).

• Do you really understand your loved one’s deep inner values and needs in the order of their importance, not your own? …. and do they match with your own?

• Do you actually know your own needs and life values .. or do you live according to someone else’s?

• No matter how hard you try to work through issues and good intentions, do you get stuck and sabotage yourself at the same points over and over?

• Have you been struggling with any of the following problems?

o Low self-esteem and negative self thoughts
o Depressed moods
o Anxiety concerns, constant worries
o Loneliness
o Anger
o Sexual issues
o Addictive behaviours?

• Have you been dreaming of your relationship full of fun and sizzle (again), but have no clue how to go about it?

If the list above got you thinking, I have good news for you and some tangible help.
First of all, the Journey of Intimacy has its own Community with FREE membership. The site is packed full of tips and valuable info on relationship and sexual health issues. Take a look at: Journey Of Intimacy Community

Then you also can get some private and very confidential help here on the Journey of Intimacy website

In your quest to make a difference in your life and relationship, you’re not alone. Reach out and let’s do it together!

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A study says 20 million U.S. couples have sex less than 10 times a year. ——- | original airdate: FEB 20 2009

Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Sherri Shepherd and Barbara Walters
__________________________

Dealing With a Sexless Marriage:

Sex may be on television, in the theaters and advertising, but it’s not in the homes of 20 million American couples who are in sexless marriages.

Once a taboo topic, sexless marriages are getting more attention, in part because so many couples are complaining about the lack of sexual activity in their unions, according to one gynecologist.

It’s an epidemic, Dr. Hilda Hutcherson said.

In a sexless marriage, couples only are sexually intimate 10 or fewer times a year.

Enjoy this humorous video clip,

Geli

xx

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“To laugh is to risk appearing a fool,
to cry is to risk appearing sentimental and soft,
to reach out to another is to risk involvement,
to show up and expose your feelings is to risk exposing your inherent self,
to place your ideas, your dreams, your desires before people is to risk their loss,
to love is to risk you might not be loved in return,
to live is to risk dying,
to show strength is to risk showing weakness,
to do is to risk failure,
the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing,
the person who risks nothing gets nothing, has nothing, is nothing,
he may avoid suffering, pain, sorrow, but he does not learn, he does not grow, he does not live, he does not love, he has sold, forfeited freedom, integrity, he is a slave, chained by safety, locked away by fear,
because, only a person who is willing to risk not knowing the result
is free” (Anonymous)

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You’ve spent the last hour shaving your legs, getting your hair just right to compliment your glowingly beautiful make-up and walk into the living room to find him in his old blue-jeans slouched on the sofa engrossed and entranced in the latest game on the screen in front of him with not the slightest interest going anywhere fast!

What is your first reaction?

I know what my reaction used to be, probably not too pretty to repeat it here on this blog. All the excited happiness just dissipates into a puff of frustration and anger.

If you’re anything what I used to be, you might be tempted to take charge of the situation, either by pouting, or asking the rather sharp and pointing question, “What on earth are you doing not being ready? Are we going out or what??!!”

To add insult to injury, he just apathetically mutters, “You can go out, I don’t care!”

Even if he reluctantly gets himself to move from the sofa to go through the motions of getting ready, this is one bad start to the evening you’ve so been looking forward to.

To make things worse, you now take responsibility to help him get ready. You find him that shirt and what else he might need. Unknowingly you’re stepping into your directional masculine side, and before you know it your masculine side clashes with his masculine side, tension and conflict looms.

What’s happened? The whole event caused you two to be depolarized. Instead of staying in your feminine which attracts and invites, you slipped into your masculine which pushes and guides.

Now, if you were at work and wanted to get something done, you’d be totally in the right track. Feminine and masculine sexual polarity has no place in the professional arena, but all changes if you want to experience passionate intimacy with your beloved.

If you desire a level of intimacy that you crave as a feminine woman, you want to avoid sexual depolarization in intimate relationships, which is a major reason for conflict.

It’s time to really understand radiant Feminine love which is the polar opposite to sharp, angry pushes and stabs, that either brings the worst out of him or just an ambiguous , wimp of a blaaaah wishy-washy man.

OK, what can you do in this situation?

Well, seeing him as the couch-potato slouch, having well and truly slipped into his feminine side, you need to consciously lay off any urges to get into your directional masculine and instead amplify your own feminine to the point that his energy compared to your now seem quite masculine. That will quite frequently wake him up and propel him into a full-throttle masculine directionality.

Let me show you the key how to get there, and yes it may seem completely counter intuitive for that situation; ….. and no, it is not manipulative if you genuinely give yourself permission to deeply and fully relax into your Feminine.

First of all take several deep breaths to shift your pissed-off energy with shallow quick chest breathing into relaxed deep belly breathing. Become aware that you had slipped into the masculine and consciously step out of it.

As you breathe deeply, imagine that you reach within yourself to the door of your heart that just slammed shut. As an act of faith, knowing that you have the love of God within you which protects you and covers you, open that door and allow God’s love to pulse through you and out.

Consciously let go of that tightness and tension, breathe it out and start feeling your Feminine heart, your Feminine desires, feel yourself being a woman all over your body.

Snuggle next to him and invite him into the irresistible space you just created. If you’re with the right man, you can then genuinely whisper and purr into his ear that you trust his decisions, and whatever he decides, you just love to be with him.

Offer him your exquisite Feminine lovingly enchanting smile and tender touch. Invite him where you want him to be in your extreme feminine embrace, rather than telling him what he should do; then watch him respond.

You either wind up having a night at home making passionately love, or he takes charge and takes you out so you wind up like the lady in red, swooned and crazed over …. or both

Live with Love and Passion,

________________________________
© Copyright Angelika Regina Heimann – inStrengths Ministries – The Journey Of Intimacy 2009. All Rights Reserved

Did you find this post inspiring, informative, or interesting? Would you like to read more on this subject? Please let me know.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, I find it such joy to read encouraging words and great feed-back!

God bless!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE OR BLOG POST IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

The Journey Of Intimacy – Angelika Regina Heimann BSc( Hons), MSc BPsych, is a NLP Practitioner, Business Psychologist and Psychosexual Educator, based on Positive Psychology, Mind Technologies and Christ-Centred Spirituality – an Invitation to Hope, Healing, Growth, Joy and Bliss.

Rev. Heimann combines Christ-Centred Spirituality with Positive Psychology to assist couples or individuals seeking her advice to discover their unique personal inner strengths, build their faith, wellness, well-being, and happiness: mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually, to facilitate growth, and learn skills to build positive emotions, optimism and resilience while decreasing unhelpful thinking, behaviours and emotions.

To read more articles and personal diary posts go to The Journey Of Intimacy Blog

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There is a very important rule that has to do with your attitude and intention:

The loving paradox of giving and receiving, as opposed to ‘grabbing’, taking, and being a performance master.

Let me explain and give you some luscious scrumptious tips that will change your kissing pleasure forever …..

Some men have moved from the “come here woman, I want you now, and I know you want me” attitude to, “I can get her to moan and squirm; I can make her have multiple whatever’s; I know how to handle a woman that she comes back begging ….”

On the other hand, there are some women who seem to have a need to tease and please to get a reaction for him to want her; or just out-and-out serve/please him because she feels it’s her duty to him.

None of that should ever be part of your intimacy with your spouse. What we teach here at the inStrengths Inner Chamber is a lifestyle of respectful, tender loving intimacy and not crude sex (whichever pretty way that might be dressed up as …).

Delicious sexual ecstasy is woven into it, and the effects of high-level abandoned and surrendered lovemaking linger on, and enrich a couple’s life making it vibrant. You’re on a constant life-breath of sumptuous ecstatic living increasingly becoming more deeply in love as the days go by.

So, what has all this got to do with kissing? Everything! All animals copulate, but only humans kiss, and have the capacity to kiss exchanging the divine essence of life, spirit …. breath.

A meaningful kiss allows ones whole loving self to be poured into the other, and with vulnerable surrender receive the loved one’s heart at the same time (yes, men too).

Meaningful kissing opens up the avenue to get to know oneself and the other; it entwines knowledge with deep emotions and spirit.

Now, let’s go to the skills bit:

If you’re new to this, let me give you a practical tip.

Imagine a beautiful warm summers day and you have a most luscious, juicy, scrumptious, mouth-watering, ripe peach in your hands (exchange peach for any other fruit if you prefer). Now, imagine that you’re going to savour this peach and not hastily gobble it up. You’re going to relish and take pleasure in really savouring this peach as you slowly take it to your mouth. Inhale the unique fruity fragrance and let your lips softly brush over the tiny hairs. Cup your mouth over the peach and with a soft broad tongue experience the skin of the peach before opening it. Experience the exquisite pleasure of gently sucking in the juices and the flavours….. get the idea?

Now, let me ask you a question: was your focus on giving the peach pleasure or was your focus on intensely enjoying the peach?

Here comes the paradox, when you deeply and genuinely enjoy your spouse, like savouring that peach, you’ll give pleasure to him or her. It’s like, ‘who’s the one giving or receiving?’ … somehow gets all muddled up in this delectable swirl.

OK here we go:

 The one experienced in the supreme art of kissing never ever zooms in on the lips straight away. You gently build sensory awareness. Even if everything inside of you *screams* for the touch of the lips, hold back and build greater tumescence by getting the rest of the body, or at least the rest of the face involved. The key is to awaken the nerve cells all around to avoid just a localised experience. You can do that by gently sniffing each other. It awakens your senses to different skin fragrances depending on the hormonal and emotional state. Also, the gentle air pulses that emanate as you breathe on the the your spouse’s face will start to awaken anticipatory nerve cells, plus tuning you two into a synchronised breathing pattern.

 Build intimacy anticipation by kissing all around your spouse’s face with soft, baby butterfly kisses and use your hands to caress the face, hair or body, and nuzzle their neckline.

 Use your nose to nuzzle and your lips to caress your loved one.

 Tease your partner by tracing the outline of his/her lips with the tip of your tongue.

 Now put your heart and body into a slow kiss alternating the pressure from gentle to deep with mouth slightly open. Gently touch their neckline and earlobes with your fingertips as you’re kissing. Then move your finger tips up to stroke the back of their head.

 Take your lover’s (I trust your spouse is still your lover!!) bottom lip between yours and suck gently. Make some sounds of pleasure.

 Slowly lick your partner’s teeth with your tongue and increase your breathing to short rapid breaths.

 Wrap your lips around your loved-one’s tongue and gently suck passionately alternating your speed from slow to quick.

 Explore the inside of your lover’s mouth with your tongue by running it in small and large circles.

 Gently run your tongue along the inside of their upper lip

 Dart your tongue in and out of your lover’s mouth rapidly and then slowly as if you were having intercourse. Remember to use your entire body with sensitivity and tenderness, and make all those wonderful sounds of love.

 Use hot or cold liquids to create new kissing sensibilities.

Live life with Love and Passion,

Angelika

________________________________
© Copyright Angelika Regina Heimann – inStrengths Ministries – The Journey Of Intimacy 2009. All Rights Reserved

Did you find this post inspiring, informative, or interesting? Would you like to read more on this subject? Please let me know.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, I find it such joy to read encouraging words and great feed-back!

God bless!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE OR BLOG POST IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

The Journey Of Intimacy – Angelika Regina Heimann BSc( Hons), MSc BPsych, is a NLP Practitioner, Business Psychologist and Psychosexual Educator, based on Positive Psychology, Mind Technologies and Christ-Centred Spirituality – an Invitation to Hope, Healing, Growth, Joy and Bliss.

Rev. Heimann combines Christ-Centred Spirituality with Positive Psychology to assist couples or individuals seeking her advice to discover their unique personal inner strengths, build their faith, wellness, well-being, and happiness: mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually, to facilitate growth, and learn skills to build positive emotions, optimism and resilience while decreasing unhelpful thinking, behaviours and emotions.

To read more articles and and a wealth of intimate realtionship resources, go to Journey Of Intimacy

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