Are you making these classic mistakes with your lady in your relationship?By
Are you at your wit’s end thinking, “whatever I do is not good enough for her?” She complains, nags and is in a foul mood. Whatever solution you tell her she should do to solve her problem, she just storms out shouting that you’re just not listening to her?
I’m inviting you to check through the following suggestions which you can try out and do to produce the results you are looking for.
First of all, let me say that every situation is different, and people are individually different. Unless I am actually talking with you one on one regarding your specific situation, I can only give you a buffet of general tips and understanding.
OK, let’s assume she comes home from work all frustrated about her day and what happened to her. You’re probably tired from your work day, too, and just want to switch off, and then she starts to talk.
You can clearly see that she is upset, and you want to change that state as quickly as you can. As you listen your strategic brain probably has already sussed out the solution. So, you go ahead and tell her that she should do: point 1, point 2, point 3. It’s really that simple! But why is she now making a fuss that you apparently don’t even care enough to listen?!
Well, the feminine tends to express herself in “feelings”, whilst the masculine tends to prefer to express himself in actions, in “doing”. For you as a masculine man, you tend to either show your love doing something for your lady, or if you are in a sticky situation you want to get out of, you “do” something about it.
It is worth repeating that every person has both masculine and feminine energy essence in them at various degrees, and we can use whichever energy, masculine or feminine, as and when necessary. For simplicity, I am calling feminine “she” and masculine “he” although energies are not gender specific. So, for example, at work, in order to get things done, a woman may purposefully use her masculine energy.
Now she is at home with you and her feminine essence energy wants to be honoured. She wants to express her “feelings” rather than having to “do” something again.
The useful thing is, in this situation, for most of the time, no action is required, no problem needs to be solved; you do not have to do anything other than just being present to her feelings. You may find that she is actually describing her current feeling or emotion, rather than stating or asking for a solution that requires an action.
At that moment she is flowing on a feelings wave and by suggesting an action she will not feel heard or loved.
So you can relax, just be conscious and present, and all you have to do is acknowledge her pain or her emotions at that point.
Allow that storm to ride out. Enter her eyes with love and compassion for what she is feeling right at that moment.
Be present, be fully present! Don’t get sidetracked by her words, just be conscious of the deep feelings from her heart.
She will really feel heard and loved. She will be able to relax into her feminine self. Just scoop her up into your arms and hold her there.
You do that, and you’ll be her hero!
© 2012 A.R.(“Geli”) Heimann
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“Geli Heimann, B.Sc, M.Sc Psych, Holistic Psychologist in private praxis, as well as Energy Therapist, Sacred Sexuality Tantra Educator, Transformational Interventionist, Spiritual Teacher and Healer, Mentor, NLP Practitioner. Get confidential coaching or further tips at www.JourneyOfIntimacy.com”