Lingering Slow Touch – Sensual ResensitizingBy
awaken your senses,
delight in tenderly loving
allowing every nerve cell to spread it’s tingling delight …
In order to be in touch with your body’s full capacity for pleasure, it’s important to free yourself mentally and emotionally. Developing your mind is as important in Sacred Sexuality, as learning to experience your body from the inside out.
We live in a society where we are assaulted by external stimuli to excite and arouse us. Of course the more we rely on the external the less we are aware what’s going on the inside of us. We progressively become more numb to our own inner pleasure centres, and consequently reach for stronger and more addictive ways to have fun to toxic levels.
Naturally, the porn industry welcomes this; after all it means more revenue, so produce more to entice us with more titillating and hooking material. Neurochemically the brain response patterns are the same as with crack heroine.
Neuro-scientists know that pornography addiction is a “chemical addiction” generating a reaction in the brain very similar to street drugs. The neurochemical release triggered by viewing pornography is so strong that it is also referred to as an “eroto-toxin” and the most powerful drug in history.
Cellular-memory groups and neural pathways are formed in the brain and body, thus making outside stimuli to access and activate them unnecessary. The brain is wired as such that images, feelings and information can be brought up simply by using your imagination.
Pornographic images stored in the brain cellular-memory groups and neural pathways can permeate the whole mind-body network. Pornographic images can pop up at the most inappropriate time, especially during intimate time with your partner.
Then, there is sexual fetishism, or erotic fetishism (also called paraphilia) which relies on any physical thing (traditionally, an inanimate object) to achieve sexual arousal or satisfaction. When a person becomes dependent on these devices as well as often associated pain to derive pleasure from, typically there is little sensitivity left to enjoy intimate times with just two bodies intertwined, deriving full pleasure out of satisfying each other from the deepest core of their own sensuousness.
This blog is not intended to go deeper into these subjects of either pornography nor fetish, hence it’s only outlined briefly above.
Thankfully, though, for those who desire to detox and resensitize themselves and their partner to actually derive pleasure from experiencing heightened sensations and feelings from touch and loving presence, they can embark on a most powerful and delightful bliss adventure path together, the tantric path.
You can retrain the brain and re-pattern habits. For example, during and relaxation exercise, focus on non-genital togetherness.
One of the main difference between tantric lovemaking and typical sex is that it is not goal oriented! It is a process of deepening pleasure that involves every bit of the spirit-mind-body being. The tantric path is not a quick Saturday night fix with high friction sex, but a lifestyle of sensuality and pleasure.
It’s about mindfulness and presence, being able to tune into oneself and the other. It’s tuning into the life-force of love, passion and sensuality. It means to full-on living and loving consciously. It means to be able to cultivate an open heart even when it hurts … it means trusting fully. … well, this might be a subject of future blog posts.
Let’s go back to the experience of touch, a vast subject in itself!
There is nothing that transmits love as powerfully as being touched with sensitivity, passion, tenderness and above all with presence and consciousness!
Miracles can happen for partners when they are willing to journey on the path of energy healing. A caress of purposeful, gentle touch is a way to show and experience love, and move into a timeless space, beyond the mind.
But first you need to learn how to get in touch with yourself and your body. Learn again what it feels like running your fingers along soft material such a silk or velvet. Stop, do it consciously! Daily we touch a myriad of things, we touch things completely unconsciously to complete a functional activity. Stop, slow down. I mean really slow down and experience fully the texture of what you are touching.
Take your middle finger and gently trace over your forehead, down your nose (slowly, I said, feel every lovely lump and bum and just love on it with gratitude and sensual joy).
Continue tracing down to your lips, trace around your lips as if you were outlining them. What does that feel like??
Take your time and explore your entire body one inch at a time and deeply feel the sensation. Vary the intensity and pressure of the touch. What feels best for now? Can you make that touch even lighter? Give yourself the gift of own loving caress.
As a couple, learn and understand the various different erogenous zones both on yourself and on your partner. Take time to prepare bodies, such as giving a feather massage, or a finger ‘rain-cascade’ massage, or a massage with essential oils, etc. Explore all the senses.
If you are a man reading this, here is a powerful tip: The important thing is that you DO NOT CLOSE YOUR EYES and retreat into your own world of self- pleasure which shuts out your lover! Retrain yourself by being totally present and deeply enter her with your eyes and your heart, and feel the bodily sensations, consciously. This is a powerful way for a man who was used to mental imagery to retrain his mind and brain to focus on the actual physical touch sensation and being fully present with her. This will take some real conscious effort which is well worth it!
I invite you to learn more on becoming a member
© 2012 A.R.(“Geli”) Heimann
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“Geli Heimann, B.Sc, M.Sc Psych, Holistic Psychologist in private praxis, as well as Energy Therapist, Sacred Sexuality Tantra Educator, Transformational Interventionist, Spiritual Teacher and Healer, Mentor, NLP Practitioner. Get confidential coaching or further tips at www.JourneyOfIntimacy.com”