You’re ready to go out and paint the town red …. and he’s not in the mood. What do you do?

It’s Saturday night, or your ‘Date Night’, as some couple have them, or any other night to go out with your man, you have been looking forward to with great anticipation. You even may have bought yourself a new dress, nursing a secret dream that he would swoon all over you …..

You’ve spent the last hour shaving your legs, getting your hair just right to compliment your glowingly beautiful make-up and walk into the living room to find him in his old blue-jeans slouched on the sofa engrossed and entranced in the latest game on the screen in front of him with not the slightest interest going anywhere fast!

What is your first reaction?

I know what my reaction used to be, probably not too pretty to repeat it here on this blog. All the excited happiness just dissipates into a puff of frustration and anger.

If you’re anything what I used to be, you might be tempted to take charge of the situation, either by pouting, or asking the rather sharp and pointing question, “What on earth are you doing not being ready? Are we going out or what??!!”

To add insult to injury, he just apathetically mutters, “You can go out, I don’t care!”

Even if he reluctantly gets himself to move from the sofa to go through the motions of getting ready, this is one bad start to the evening you’ve so been looking forward to.

To make things worse, you now take responsibility to help him get ready. You find him that shirt and what else he might need. Unknowingly you’re stepping into your directional masculine side, and before you know it your masculine side clashes with his masculine side, tension and conflict looms.

What’s happened? The whole event caused you two to be depolarized. Instead of staying in your feminine which attracts and invites, you slipped into your masculine which pushes and guides.

Now, if you were at work and wanted to get something done, you’d be totally in the right track. Feminine and masculine sexual polarity has no place in the professional arena, but all changes if you want to experience passionate intimacy with your beloved.

If you desire a level of intimacy that you crave as a feminine woman, you want to avoid sexual depolarization in intimate relationships, which is a major reason for conflict.

It’s time to really understand radiant Feminine love which is the polar opposite to sharp, angry pushes and stabs, that either brings the worst out of him or just an ambiguous , wimp of a blaaaah wishy-washy man.

OK, what can you do in this situation?

Well, seeing him as the couch-potato slouch, having well and truly slipped into his feminine side, you need to consciously lay off any urges to get into your directional masculine and instead amplify your own feminine to the point that his energy compared to your now seem quite masculine. That will quite frequently wake him up and propel him into a full-throttle masculine directionality.

Let me show you the key how to get there, and yes it may seem completely counter intuitive for that situation; ….. and no, it is not manipulative if you genuinely give yourself permission to deeply and fully relax into your Feminine.

First of all take several deep breaths to shift your pissed-off energy with shallow quick chest breathing into relaxed deep belly breathing. Become aware that you had slipped into the masculine and consciously step out of it.

As you breathe deeply, imagine that you reach within yourself to the door of your heart that just slammed shut. As an act of faith, knowing that you have the love of God within you which protects you and covers you, open that door and allow God’s love to pulse through you and out.

Consciously let go of that tightness and tension, breathe it out and start feeling your Feminine heart, your Feminine desires, feel yourself being a woman all over your body.

Snuggle next to him and invite him into the irresistible space you just created. If you’re with the right man, you can then genuinely whisper and purr into his ear that you trust his decisions, and whatever he decides, you just love to be with him.

Offer him your exquisite Feminine lovingly enchanting smile and tender touch. Invite him where you want him to be in your extreme feminine embrace, rather than telling him what he should do; then watch him respond.

You either wind up having a night at home making passionately love, or he takes charge and takes you out so you wind up like the lady in red, swooned and crazed over …. or both

Live with Love and Passion,



© 2012 A.R.(“Geli”) Heimann

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

“Geli Heimann, B.Sc, M.Sc Psych, Holistic Psychologist in private praxis, as well as Energy Therapist, Sacred Sexuality Tantra Educator, Transformational Interventionist, Spiritual Teacher and Healer, Mentor, NLP Practitioner. Get confidential coaching or further tips at www.JourneyOfIntimacy.com


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  1. Lucille Iracheta says:

    This is a superb post, but I was wondering how do I suscribe to the RSS feed?

  2. jesus on the cross says:

    Greatwork friend, keep it up.|i’m bookmarking this blog & visiting againfor updates.

  3. Michael Kin says:

    Thanks a lot for this, I am greatful for the food for thought!

  4. Kieth Dilauro says:

    I’m pleased about your reply and explanation. Thank you.

  5. Shirley Hun says:

    Thanks for the post. Phew! a bit of some tough advice, but I can see that it would work. I shall give it a try next time I feel like exploding over him. LOL

  6. Lisette says:

    Thank you for the great advice. I must say it took me a bit to accept it, as my natural inclination was to get upset within a situation like that. But thinking about it, your advice makes sense!

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