How to Tune Into Your Loved-One

You’re freshly in love and your heart is just there! …. Now, so many years later how do you rekindle this delicious intimacy? …. or do you just need a little tweeking?

Most couples, especially if they have been together for a long time, are so busy with life. There are kids, bills have to be paid, jobs demanding, and just too many things require our constant attention. We rush around and not take the time necessary to create intimacy, to just deliberately and on purpose *being* with our loved one, feeling them and appreciating them.

So how do you keep this passion fresh, or rekindle the fire?

Ecstasy and intimacy is a discipline. You have to give yourself some time to do things that are good for you and your spouse.

Talking about discipline, this sounds like work, which implies that it is unpleasant and difficult. It’s not, it’s delightful. However, all it requires is attention.

People have hobbies where they enjoy devoting their time to get to know their subject of interest; they research, practice and get good at it.

When we apply this idea and concept to our relationship and to each other, it’s like going on a lifelong adventure with the curiosity necessary for art and science.
Why? – because we are one a journey of deeply learning about each other. This is a most fascinating process as we are always changing and hopefully growing … so, there is always more to learn.

Here is a little exercise to get you to start connecting with each other again, called Eye-Gazing. This is part of “Intimacy” = “Into-Me-You-See”!


Stand or sit close to each other at a comfortable distance. Then gaze into each other’s eyes in silence whilst synchronising your breathing with each other.

Do this at least once every day for approximately 3 minutes.

When you do this intentionally you will start to harmonise on a deeper level of emotional connection.

You may say, ‘when we do this, it feels awkward and we giggle’, and just think, ‘when are those stupid 3 minutes over??’

When you first started dating it did not feel awkward at all, did it? So really, the best thing is to get into this habit and never stop.

So, what do you do if you neglected it and got out of the habit? Do you just sit there staring at each other, desperately trying not to look at the clock?

No, it’s time for you to get the admiration for each other back which you had when you first fell in love with each other. You begin with meditatively thinking that the person sitting opposite to you houses the Lord, the Spirit of the living God. It’s like you’re looking through the eyes of your loved one straight into the eyes of the Lord.

Ask Him to look through your eyes into theirs and fill you with His love for them. Just start admiring this most wonderful of God’s creation sitting opposite to you with the deepest respect, and thank Him for the privilege you have in sharing and witnessing their life path He has ordained for them..

Let yourself be filled and flooded with His love for them. Sooner or later, you will not know the difference when it is His love or your love for them.

Live life with Love and Passion,




© 2012 A.R.(“Geli”) Heimann

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“Geli Heimann, B.Sc, M.Sc Psych, Holistic Psychologist in private praxis, as well as Energy Therapist, Sacred Sexuality Tantra Educator, Transformational Interventionist, Spiritual Teacher and Healer, Mentor, NLP Practitioner. Get confidential coaching or further tips at


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  1. Barry Woodward says:

    Great article……Highly recommended reading…..for couples and soon to be couples.

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